I Almost Do
by katierosefun
Summary: (One-shot) Anakin finds Cadena wondering about the entire purpose of war...and realizes that something else was going on...


**Yay! Another one-shot with Anakin and Cadena cuteness! Anyways, I was having a rough first week of school and I missed Cadena and Anakin so...I plopped myself down at my desk and began writing...! :') It felt good to write Cadena's name in my Microsoft Word file. :) But...yeah! Enjoy! **

Anakin—

"Cadena, what are you _doing _in there? You haven't come out of the refresher for nearly an hour now! Cadena!" I growled, frustrated. "If you don't open the door right now, I'll cut it down!"

"Leave me alone." Cadena's small voice warbled from inside. "Please."

I blinked. Cadena saying 'please'? That was a first.

Something was definitely wrong.

I sighed and rested my head against the cool metal. "Cadena, I'm not stupid. Something's up so open the blasted door!" I shouted.

I heard some shuffling around and I stood back as the door slid open with a hiss of air.

I crossed my arms and asked, "Was that so hard to do?" I stopped and looked over Cadena's face slowly, at her puffy and swollen eyes, at the flush in her cheeks and tear streaks running down her face. I frowned. I've only seen Cadena cry once but most of the time, she was careful to remain strong.

Seeing her look like this was new.

"Cadena, you okay?" I asked quietly as she walks to her bed. I watched as my Padawan pulled the covers over her head and she mumbles, "I'm fine."

I frowned and sat down on her bed. "Are you sure? You look awful." I pressed.

Cadena shifted her body position and she looks up at me. "Are you proud of me, Master?" She whispers and I felt chills dance up my spine. The last time someone ever said that to me was Ahsoka back on Mortis when she was influenced to join the Son.

It felt strange hearing the same words come from Cadena's mouth, only they didn't have a bitter note in it, only a sad bit of disappointment and tiredness.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Cadena buried her head in the pillow and mumbles, "Good night."

I paused, hoping for her to say something more and just sighed, neatening the covers around her.

"Good night, Cadena."

•◊•

I didn't even hear Cadena cutting herself until she landed on the ground with a thumping noise. I opened my eyes tiredly, unsure of what had caused the sound and turned over to look at her.

I found her sprawled on the ground, blood flowing in a steady stream down her arm from her wrist, which had a slit mark scratched above her vein.

"Cadena!" I shouted and kneeled down next to her. "What do you think you're doing?!"

I grabbed Cadena's arm and she tries squirming herself away from me. I held on fast and searched around the room until I managed to find a roll of gauze. I quickly wrapped it over the cut and pressed on the cloth—hard. I looked up at Cadena, whose face was streaked with tears. I realized that I hadn't been breathing until the last bit of gauze had covered up the cut in a neat wrap.

Cadena sniffled a bit, looking down at her bandaged wrist and I whispered, "Do you mind telling me why you'd be trying to bleed yourself out to death?"

When Cadena didn't answer, I sighed and said, "Didn't you even think about how upset everyone would be if you killed yourself? We can't afford you to pull this sort of stunt, Cadena."

"I'm tired of living, Master." Cadena says suddenly and I looked at her in the eye. Sadness and grief was slowly taking over. "I thought that we weren't doing enough to…be the Jedi. I really want all of this to just _stop _and…I'm ashamed that I was actually getting _scared _of fighting. Sometimes I just wanted to crawl up into a ball and hide…" Her voice broke.

I watched sadly as a couple more tears rolled down her face and she whimpers, "People told me that I wasn't a worthy apprentice if I have those kind of thoughts...so I thought—"

"Cadena." I said quietly and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. She buried her head on my shoulder and began sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Master. I just couldn't bear to think that—"

"Cadena, you _are_ a worthy apprentice." I said quietly. "You're improving every day and yeah, there are days when you're not as obedient as you should be, but making mistakes is how we learn."

Cadena shook her head. "But sometimes making mistakes is a luxury that we don't have." She whispers.

"Maybe not," I said and stretched Cadena away from me at an arm's length. "But I am proud of you, Cadena, no matter what."

Cadena gave me a watery smile and wiped at her eyes. "Thank you, Master." She whispered. "I won't ever do this again."

I gave her a small smile and tousled her hair. "You better not. It'd leave all of us in a mess." I said lightly. Cadena manages to giggle and says, "You mean more of a mess?"

I smirked and sat back on my heels. "Eh, maybe…" I said sheepishly and Cadena sighs, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Love you, Master." She says tiredly. I raised an eyebrow and she rolls her eyes. "As a big brother, not as a…no, ew, that's just wrong!"

I grinned and patted her back. "Nah, don't worry, I love you too, Cadena…as a little sister, though."

Cadena giggles and says, "I'm glad you stopped me."

I smirked. "I know you are, Cadena. Trust me, I know."

**A/N: Pretty sad, but sweet at the same time, as I do say so for myself. :)**

**Cadena: ...you've been writing tons of sad fics lately. WRITE A FUNNY ONE!**

**Me: I will. I will! Sheesh...-_-**

**Anakin: ...oooh, I know which one you're talking about!**

**Me: *smiles evilly* Yeah...two words-Happy Halloween! XD**

**Ahsoka: When will it be released? **

**Me: Isn't it obvious? Halloween day, of course! XD**

**Cadena: Didn't you already make a Halloween fic? **

**Me: Yeah, but you weren't in it!**

**Ahsoka: Will I be in it? **

**Me: Of course! XD Now...who's gonna do the review notice? **

**Anakin: *points at Cadena* **

**Cadena: *points at Anakin***

**Ahsoka and me: *facepalms* Here we go again...-_-**

**Me: Ahsoka, please?**

**Ahsoka: ..I wasn't even in this story but whatever. :/ Please review, give feedback, and no hate comments!**

**Me: Thank you! May the Force be with you, everyone! :D**


End file.
